:: Ke mana Menghilang 2014

Genap setahun baby AN lahir, aku expecting another baby. Im like "Haaa.. This soon??"

(Terkebil-kebil ketakutan selama beberapa hari)

Finally aku terasa Im chosen. I can do it. YA... Its fine. Ive got everyone around me. They loves me. My husband loves me. He's always pampered me. Make me laugh. Take care of me. Overprotected. Penjeles yang manja dan berjaya. Bagi apa je yang aku nak makan. (Credit for you sayang).. Ive baby AN. A year old. Playing around. So, what else I need??

Just living a happy life. Menghadapi 4-5 bulan pertama mengandung 2nd baby dengan morning sicknesses yang super teruk. Same just like my 1st pregnancy. Berjuang pagi siang malam melawan mual dan muntah yang menyeksakan. But I am a supergirl. Born to be a warrior. I can fight the worst why this happy moment I cant through with smiling in my face?

Perut makin besar. Makin berat. Lemak makin tebal. Kaki makin sakit nak jalan2. Pinggang pun dah melengkung. Another credit to my husband. Tolong take care of our daughter. Cuci yak yak baby AN. Change diapers. Lipat baju. Basuh baju mesin yang buat. Tolong tapaw makan. Hantar pegi pregnancy checkup. Layankan je perangai org mengandung yang kadang2 tu agak keterlaluan.

Hmmm... Dah nampak kan bayang bayang apa sebab hilangnya 2014....

Days… Weeks… Months….

Sampailah due 25th November hari selasa. Nothing happened. No sign aku nak bersalin dalam sehari dua lagi. So I decided to follow husband pegi wedding cousin dia kat Taiping on the weekend. Haaa... Perut sarat bukan takat sarat ni dah siap overdue dah, sempat lagi nak pegi wedding kat Taiping which is dah dekat dgn Kuala Kangsar almost sempadan dengan Penang. Dari Jb pulak tu.. Hmmm.. Niat nak penatkan badan and nak bagi banyak bergerak supaya cepat dan senang terberanak esok esok karang.

3 hari kat Taiping tak juga terberanak. Balik tu ahad maknanya dah 5 hari overdue. Hospital bagi extend another 6 days je. Lepas tu kalau tak beranak juga.. INDUCE lah ye.

Lepas balik dari Taiping, sampai hari rabu tu hari ke 7 overdue takde tanda lagi. And ikutkan sangat degil hati tak pergi hospital masa hari ke 6. Konon konon taknak pergi sebab nak natural pain tak mau induce. Nurse call masa hari ke 7 tu Tanya dia ingat dah bersalin sebab diam aje. Rupanya belum bersalin dan masih kat rumah tgh tengok hbo. Melenting nurse. Kikikiki. Take care betul ye kt aku. Dia suruh pegi HSA tang petang rabu tu juga. So aku barang semua memang dah standby terus la pegi hospital. Masuk bilik saringan semua check bukaan 2cm only. No sign. No pain. No contraction. But baby heart rate still cantik mengancam. So coolcool and rileks2 saja… But esok kena induce 1^st dose sebab dah 7 hari overdate. Husband pun terus booked kan 1^st class ward tet tot tet tot tet tot itu ini semua pukul 9pm lebih warded. Husband hantar pegi ward then belikan makan utk malam tu salam salam muah muah sikit husband pun balik.

U know what, the loneliest feeling ever kena tinggal husband time time macam tu.. Sobbss…

The next khamis morning masuk induce 1^st dose. Sakit contraction kejap utk the whole day sampai ke tgh malam dah takde rasa apa apa lagi. So jumaat pagi proceed utk 2^nd dose induce. Tengahari husband datang dengan ayah and baby AN. Baby AN tak boleh naik ward so mummy kena turun bawah. Husband tolak naik wheelchair pegi bawah utk jumpa baby AN. Saja bawak baby AN sebab dah 3 hari tak jumpa baby AN dah start mencari mummy dia kat rumah.

Masa tengahari tu bukaan only 3cm. Sakit makin kuat. But boleh makan lagi. Lepas husband balik nak pegi solat jumaat sakit makin kuat dan makin tak tertahan. Call husband cakap sakit dah kuat. Dari pkl 1 tghari menhan sakit sampai pukul 4 lebih check bukaan dah 7cm. Terus dipecahkan ketuban. Call husband dia tgh parking kereta.

Terus kena masuk labor room. Husband teman juga kat sebelah lap lap peluh. Itu ini itu ini semua bersalin lah aku. Pukul 5.30pm 5dec2015 baby AI lahir…

Both pregnancy dapat bersalin normal. Baby AN girl 3.2kilos. Baby AI boy 3.4kilos. Syukur mummy gemok gemok mengandung berbaloi sebab baby bambam.

So tu lah sebabnya mengapa 2014 aku menghilang……

:: The Reason

This is the reason why I need to be strong

:: You are the love of my life

Aren't you somethin' to admire?
'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and
The glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always
Parallel on the other side

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space and now you're home
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Aren't you somethin', an original
'Cause it doesn't seem merely a sample
And I can't help but stare, 'cause
I see truth somewhere in your eyes
I can't ever change without you
You reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I would look at us all the time

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space and now you're home
show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you lookin' back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space and now you're home
Show me how to fight for now (please show me, baby)
I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

You are, you are the love of my life

Now you're the inspiration for this precious song
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are

You are, you are the love of my life

Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You're my reflection and all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do

You are, you are the love of my life

:: You Save Me From The Dark

:: Soulmate